Re: diagnosing sql connections spike
Finding well managed shared hosting that’s affordable is difficult.
Any host can slip up and end up with bad neighbors on a shared box.
Loads as high as you are reporting though should be automatically firing off alerts to the host though, so they either
1. aren’t getting alerts
2. getting them but ignoring them because they know it’s the overloading backup routine each morning
bbPress doesn’t have a page cache yet like WordPress’s wp-cache but in theory doesn’t actually need one unless you have a very active forum (or a bad host).
As far as finding a “better” host, it’s not easy but here’s some ideas:
http://ckon.wordpress.com/2008/12/18/some-tech-tips-to-find-a-better-wordpress-or-bbpress-host/