bbPress.org

Well smother me with some butter and call me a biscuit! I figured it out. I mis-read how the get_location function works. The answer to my problem was to add a filter like so:

add_filter( 'bb_get_location', 'my_set_forums_location' );

And then add a function thusly:

function my_set_forums_location () { return 'front-page'; }

to my new forums.php file… and viola! Everything worked like it should! Woot!